An evening of idiocy

Ah! Managed to survive another evening of stupidity on public display. These guys were celebrating the birthday of Krishna...
All this kinda fuelled my furnace of questions.
1. Why do these people paint some clueless kid blue instead of getting someone really black?
2. If Krishna was "gawd", why couldn't he didn't he simply fart out some gene-tailored virus and smite down every dickead that had a problem with him?
3. If Krishna can steal butter, eat shit and flirt with SIXTEEN THOUSAND chicks and get kudos for doing that, why did I get the crap kicked outta me when I was doing something similar?
4. Why does the good guy always have to bust his arse in some damn jungle while the bad guy is in some swanky palace making out with some hottie?
5. Why are these 'epics' worshipped when they look like just a few frigging war novels that have managed to endure the ravages of time?
6. If there is a god and he created me, why am I here blaspheming my arse off? Why is Earth being screwed so bad? Why do plants, birds and animals keep getting driven to oblivion?
7. Why did the biggest massacres in history justify themselves as HOLY WARS?
8. Where is proof that man isn't a failed experiment left to fester on this planet by some bloody alien race?