then how will you satisfy ur sexual desire?

A few words first:

1. This conversation takes place in two languages: English and Telugu. People who know both languages will appreciate it better. I don't feel like translating it right now. When I feel like it, I'll try and translate it.
2. I am Mr. X in this conversation. I'm a short sighted dork who has no time to get off his ass and get laid. I quit Infosys Technologies, Limited so that I could sleep all I wanted, play all I wanted and go anywhere I wanted. I didn't make it into Google because I simply couldn't act dumb enough. So now, I "freelance" when I need money to pay my bills and avoid job interviews like the plague. If I can't find enough money in time, I turn to my dad or my friends; poor people.
3. Mr. Y works for a reputed organization in a respectable position and is around 25 years old. He is usually drunk on weekends - as he probably must have been when he was typing to me.
4. I don't mean to insult Y by posting this here. I mean to insult the system that causes a person's brain to vegetate to such an extent that he is appalled at the very mention of a person ready to stay single all his life and work for nobody but himself. I hate a system that puts the "fear" of life in a person and drives him to keep earning money for no definite purpose.
This post is simply me wondering out loud how many people see life the same way as me.
5. Enough bullshit. Here goes...

Session Start (xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:yyy_yyyyyy): Sun Oct 29 01:56:08 2006
[01:56] yyy_yyyyyy: arey how are u?
[01:56] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: Im cool, man how are you?
[01:56] yyy_yyyyyy: i am good..where are u now?
[01:56] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: Begumpet
[01:56] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: hows work?
[01:57] yyy_yyyyyy: going on ra..
[01:57] yyy_yyyyyy: hey where are you working?
[01:57] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: nowhere. Im freelancing
[01:57] yyy_yyyyyy: adentira?
[01:58] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: apply cheyyataniki interest poyindi.
[01:58] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: cheyinche lavada pooku panulaki 1000 questions and shit.
[01:58] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: lite teesukunna.
[01:58] yyy_yyyyyy: then what are ur plans?
[01:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: freelance, freelance, freelance.
[01:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: have fun.
[01:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: thats it.
[01:59] yyy_yyyyyy: enni rojulu ra...?
[01:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: what difference does it make?
[01:59] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: ilaga manchi experience anna vastundi.
[02:00] yyy_yyyyyy: em exp vasthadhi ra?
[02:00] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: edo company lo bench meeda koorchune dokku experience kaakunda.
[02:00] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: actual work.
[02:00] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: real work.
[02:00] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: not doing some shit documentation or maintenance.
[02:01] yyy_yyyyyy: but at the same time think about ur future
[02:02] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: there is no future.
[02:02] yyy_yyyyyy: ayya...enti ra nuvvu?
[02:02] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: Id rather be in coltrol [sic] of my work than let somebody dictate what to do.
[02:03] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: rei. edo company choosi join avutamu. vaadu repu podduna paripodani guarantee emundi?
[02:03] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: lekapote ninnu dengeimanadane guarantee emundi?
[02:04] yyy_yyyyyy: kani edo okkati jarige varaku manaku money vasthadhi kada ra...
[02:04] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: 10 20 30 years standing choostam kani this is the truth: when it comes to cost cutting, your employer wont think twice about kicking your ass.
[02:04] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: enta sepu ra?
[02:04] yyy_yyyyyy: mari money ela ra neku?
[02:04] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: oka employee peru cheppi client daggara 25 dollars per hour dengi icchedi enta?
[02:05] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: 2 dollars per hour.
[02:05] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: inka rojuki 12 gantalu office lo waste.
[02:05] yyy_yyyyyy: correct ra.....but we cant question them right?
[02:05] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: weekend vaste taagi padukovataniki saripotundi.
[02:05] yyy_yyyyyy: if we question them they will kick us right?
[02:06] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: yes. so Ive decided not to work for them at all.
[02:06] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: that way, I dont care how he fucks up my life.
[02:06] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: rei icche dabbulaki I cant destroy my health or happiness.
[02:07] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: musalodinaithe etu aa rendu undavu.
*** the funniest segment... so I'll try to translate this inline ***
[02:07] yyy_yyyyyy: mari pelli? what about marriage
[02:07] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: rendu unnappudu oka cubicle lo koorchuni potta penchukovataniki saripotundi jeevitam.
[02:07] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: PELLA??? MARRIAGE???
[02:07] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: no pelli. no marriage
[02:07] yyy_yyyyyy: varni... incredible...
[02:08] yyy_yyyyyy: enti babu.. what the heck..
[02:08] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: 1 cr katnamiste chesukunta. Ill marry if somebody gives me ten million
[02:08] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: lekapote light. otherwise no

[02:08] yyy_yyyyyy: then how will you satisfy ur sexual desire?

[02:09] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I have two hands.
[02:09] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: one is enough for now.
[02:09] yyy_yyyyyy: ne abba... man! I swear by your father...
[02:09] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: soon, I wont need to use hands at all.
[02:09] yyy_yyyyyy: bathukantha anthe na ra... will you spend your whole life like this?
[02:09] yyy_yyyyyy: enduku? why? [referring to the 'no hands at all' statement]
[02:10] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: guddalo baddhakamekkuvai evari venaka padanu. I'm too lazy to even consider getting of my ass and trying to impress some woman.
[02:10] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: once I lose that, evarto picchi lanja padutundile. once I lose that [laziness], I'll get some crazy bitch.
[02:10] yyy_yyyyyy: orai..naku emi ardham kavatam ledu.. dude... I can't comprehend a damn thing.
*** end of funniest segment. no more translation. fuck off. ***
[02:10] yyy_yyyyyy: me intlo vallu emi anadam leda?
[02:11] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: pattinchukoru vallu
[02:11] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: mana sangati telise eppudo lite teesukunnaru
[02:11] yyy_yyyyyy: y?
[02:11] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: mata vine type kanu nenu. cheppi cheppi alisipoyaru
[02:12] yyy_yyyyyy: mari neku bore ravatam leda ne life meda/
[02:12] yyy_yyyyyy: >
[02:12] yyy_yyyyyy: ?
[02:13] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: computer. movies. games. blue films. good work thats fun to do. lots of sleep... emi bore kodutundi?
[02:15] yyy_yyyyyy: arey..enti asalu navuu...job cheyanantav, pelli no annav, intlo valla mata vinav, rojantha computer,movies games, bf ante asalu mari ne life ki ardham enti ra...
[02:15] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: arey... na notilonchi vedantam vacchetattu chesavante picchekki paripotavu. lite teesuko.
[02:16] yyy_yyyyyy: adhi kadu ra...mari neku ne life meda bayam leda?
[02:16] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: enduku?
[02:16] yyy_yyyyyy: friends unnara akkada?
[02:18] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: unnaru
[02:18] yyy_yyyyyy: bayataki velthu untava?
[02:18] yyy_yyyyyy: leka pothe room lone untava?
[02:18] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: tirugutu unta mood vacchinappudu.
[02:19] yyy_yyyyyy: money...inti nunchi vasthada?
[02:19] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I earn my money.
[02:19] yyy_yyyyyy: ela?
[02:19] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: freelancing ante free ga pani cheyyatamanukunnava?
[02:19] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I get paid to do projects.
[02:19] yyy_yyyyyy: ?????????
[02:20] yyy_yyyyyy: projects like?
[02:20] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: freelancing ante oka company to link lekunda.
[02:20] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: writing web applications, MS projects...
[02:20] yyy_yyyyyy: ok....will u get enough money?
[02:21] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I need 7-8 thousand to survive. so I make at least that much per month
[02:22] yyy_yyyyyy: but do u think...u will live this life for ever?
[02:22] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: who is talking about living forever? I will do this as long as Im not sick and tired of it.
[02:22] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: then... who knows?
[02:22] yyy_yyyyyy: arey.....enti ra nuvvu
[02:23] yyy_yyyyyy: emora naku matram emi ardham kavatam ledu...
[02:23] yyy_yyyyyy: hope u will live up to ur expectations...n will acheive the life u want to live
[02:24] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I might... I might not. I dont know.
[02:24] yyy_yyyyyy: arey then y dont u start something of ur own?
[02:24] yyy_yyyyyy: if u are not interested to work under someone
[02:24] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: what do you think Im doing right now?
Session Close (yyy_yyyyyy): Sun Oct 29 02:25:22 2006


Session Start (xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:yyy_yyyyyy): Sun Oct 29 02:25:34 2006
[02:25] yyy_yyyyyy: ok..so ela ne pedha projects vasthe...more money anthe na?
[02:26] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: thats it. neat and clean.
[02:26] yyy_yyyyyy: ne phone number adhena?
[02:26] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: 9999999999
[02:27] yyy_yyyyyy: na dhegara adhe undhi le...
[02:27] yyy_yyyyyy: inka
[02:27] yyy_yyyyyy: Ramu gadu eppudu kalisadu ninnu?
[02:28] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: kalustadannadu. address lekunda poyadu.
[02:28] yyy_yyyyyy: avunule vadu edo SAP nerchukuntunnadu
[02:28] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: I know
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: he is working n learning in the same institute
[02:29] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: piccha hectic ata
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: avunanta
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: enni rooms ra nevi?
[02:29] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: 1
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: varni..
[02:29] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: penthouse
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: ok..
[02:29] yyy_yyyyyy: pedhada?
[02:30] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: not too big
[02:30] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: big enough
[02:30] yyy_yyyyyy: if me n Ramu come there can we sleep?
[02:30] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: yeah
don't get any funny ideas. I'm straight. I line up three bean bags if there's no room on my bed.
[02:30] yyy_yyyyyy: ok
[02:31] yyy_yyyyyy: so u work from home itself avuna?
[02:31] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: avunu
[02:31] yyy_yyyyyy: n where do u get this projects from?
[02:32] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: luck, mostly.
[02:32] yyy_yyyyyy: net?
[02:32] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: for now, Im heavily dependent on luck.
[02:32] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: after some time, I will get on the net and look for projects.
[02:33] yyy_yyyyyy: adhe ra nenu andedhi...ippud projects lekapothe neku money undadhu...
[02:34] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: appudu sangati appudu choosta. ippudu tension enduku?
[02:34] yyy_yyyyyy: ok...
[02:35] yyy_yyyyyy: anthelera...Talent unte eppudaine no probs...
[02:35] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: talent kadu. balls.
[02:35] yyy_yyyyyy: adhendhi ra...ne yenkamma
[02:36] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: guddalo dammu lekapote nothing is possible.
[02:36] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: talent unte you will be exploited most of the time.
[02:36] yyy_yyyyyy: yep..ur right..
[02:36] yyy_yyyyyy: avunu..
[02:37] yyy_yyyyyy: arey enough for today
[02:37] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: poi paduko
[02:37] yyy_yyyyyy: naku nidara vasthundhi..
[02:37] yyy_yyyyyy: bye..n b in touch
[02:37] xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: will do. bye.
Session Close (yyy_yyyyyy): Sun Oct 29 02:37:57 2006

I hate dumb jingoistic motherfuckers

Cricket: India's unofficial official game. It's hard to see why. This "team" has done its best to dash the hopes of a billion [or something like that] people to pieces time and time again.
Come a pressure situation and they fail spectacularly and recite the same hackneyed verse over and over: "the other team was simply too good for us and this has been a learning experience. We will do our best [to fail again] next time."
This fan club - freshly christened "The Blue Billion" AKA "Bharat Army" [in NO WAY connected to the Indian Army] - is apparently blind. It simply refuses to fire up a few cranial cells and pierce the flimsy veil of bullshit that separates fact from fiction.
This is what I observe. I wonder if the Blue Billion does...
. All the time they're "learning", they fly first class, stay in nothing less than five star hotels and wallow in money.
. They have all the time in the world for product endorsements but don't have any to do what they're really getting paid for. It's surprising how quickly they "learn" to endorse cola and shit.
. They're under contract to an entity that was based in London and now is based in Dubai, yet they claim to be "patriots playing for their country". Fuck this nonsense, they're just playing to make a quick buck. This is apparent when a new face comes and creates waves and after a few brand endorsement contracts, becomes another liability.
. If Felipe Massa - a nobody compared to all the ace drivers this season - can take a race driven by the sheer sight of 30000 Brazillians cheering for him, why the heck can't the dipshits - collectively called "Team India" - win a goddamn final given all they ever will need and being the objects of adulation of a billion people - some of who will immolate themselves for them?

And then there are the fans. These people just beg to be suckered by somebody over and over and over again. Just use the magic word - patriotism - and they'll drop down on their knees and suck your dick.
These people will die and kill for a game. They'll turn a technical discussion about a simple game into a war between two countries and will introduce words like "traitor" into these discussions.
They don't know why they even support who they support. Their reasons are more like excuses. Show me a reason why they like some player form Team India and Ill show you a player from another country who has done it better.
They can't be possibly in love with the game. They only want to feel like they've "conquered" or "vanquished" somebody. Impotent pricks.

I love the Carribean, Brit and Tasman crowds. They come to the game to have fun. They lie half naked on the grass with beers and DJs spinning records at either end of the stadium.
They don't hang to cages - there are no cages - like rabid monkeys. Sure, they're want their team to win and give the other side a tough time, but importantly, they're discerning and cool. Cricket isn't their life; it's just good fun.

There's the media. Objective is the last thing they are.
You have airheads all over the place. Dumb women like Mandira Bedi whose entire cricketing vocabulary will fit in her asshole. No, scratch that. Her's must be wide and well used. MY asshole [I swear nobody has sodomized me till date].
Just two sentences: "(My intuition says) we [Team India] will win" [before the match] and "The other team played well but I'm very disappointed we [Team India] didn't win" [after the match]. On the rare occasion "Team India" does win, she's too high jumping up and down chattering like a monkey to speak coherently.
The only thing one would notice about her in the show is her plunging neckline.

Corporations have a field day with these jingoistic fools. While gullible people are busy eating manure like "Hoo ha India [... ...] India", they're laughing all the way to the bank.
Check this ad out before and after "Team India" got kicked out of the Champions Trophy.

Mr. Maharaja, decide which side you are on and STICK TO IT.
The little text box to the left of the pictures is a small portion of the "Blue Billion" that wastes its time "analyzing" why "India" lost and cussing A or B or C or D.

ASSHOLES!! NOBODY GIVES A RAT'S ASS! I HATE YOU JINGOISTIC ASSHOLES WHEN YOU BRAND SOMEONE UNPATRIOTIC OR TRAITOR WHEN HE CALLS SHIT SHIT. GET A LIFE... GET SOME PERSPECTIVE... GROW A SPINE. OR JUST BURN IN HELL.