simple, yet profound

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat Katha to class SIX students. He is at the Krishnajanma part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered Vasudev and Devaki put behind bars.
First son is born, and Kansa kills him by poisoning.
Second one is born and Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born."

Now Ramu - smartest of the lot - puts up his hand.
[sounding nervous n confused] "Masterji, I have a doubt"

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata. How come u have one?"

Ramu: Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him,
WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL?

still need proof that the Mahabharat is just another stupid novel?
that aside, it also proves that Ramu is very advanced for his age. this guy is in the SIXTH CLASS and knows that man + woman = kid.
I didn't know that till my EIGHTH class and even that was by accident.

Municipality Monkeys

I always wonder. Why do these municipality monkeys feel the overpowering urge to dig up roads in the FUCKING RAINY SEASON!!???
There's the rest of the whole damn year to do it without making others' lives more miserable than they already are. But no. They want to do it only in the bloody rainy season! What do they do for the rest of the year? Fornicate?
The result? Dug up roads, pits, potholes, half-assed slushy diversions.
Whoever said "India is shining" should come to Lingampally and talk out of his ass. I'ma choke him right there.

Formula -1

Wet shirt + wet pants + wet shoes + wet, stinking socks + wet, smelly underwear + AC vent right above + 9 hours in office = HELL

A thing of beauty

Ain't it beautiful?
Equally beautiful is the hole in my pocket.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley. 1849-1903

I've seen it all

They say "cricket is a gentleman's game". Till yesterday, I might have agreed. Not any more.
CRICKET IS A ROCKSTAR'S GAME. And that's how it should be.
The Ashes 2005 will go into the books as the greatest test series the world has beheld. Sloppy fielding, umpiring mistakes, stupid batting and all.
Though I'm disappointed the guys in gold couldn't stop fate, I'm glad they fought it all the way. And watching the Poms rejoice with the urn made me feel happy for them even though I was rooting for the convicts.
But GAWD what a series! What players! What atmosphere!
If a kid asked me what the coliseum looked like in its hey-day, I would show him videos of Fred celebrating after every wicket, Hollywood jinxing hapless batsmen, Brett taking on the ball with every inch of his body and Kevin walking off the pitch with his arms wide open, bat in one hand and helmet in the other.
I've had it with cricket. I'm afraid watching other matches may spoil this experience I've had.

Chandanagar Police Fortress

What exactly is Indian democracy?

Indian democracy is an ungodly mixture of the shittiest aspects of communism, capitalism and dictatorship and brain-wash.
Allow me to explain...
Communism: ONE AND A HALF percent of the entire population works to pay taxes while the rest simply enjoy the ride. ESPECIALLY SC and ST arseholes who are gifted everything from money to mansions.
Capitalism: A select few who have Lady Serendipity's blessings make it big and stay there while people working under them are stuck from 9 to 5 for the rest of their lives making money for their masters and paying for the abject lot that doesn't work.
Dictatorship: Anybody who makes it to a legislative office assumes the role of supreme overlord. Him and his buddies can go on and rape, pillage, murder, blatantly break every fucking law there is and get away scot-free while the common man is screwed on every stupid whim a lawmaker has had.
Brain-wash: Bastards say this government is "of the people, by the people and for the people." REALLY??? India Shining. REALLY???
The only place where the ordinary man has a choice is when he is stamping the ballot paper. But that doesn't matter because there are dipshits everywhere who'll rig ballot boxes anyway. The only "choice" here is whether one wants to be fucked orally or anally. WOW!

coming back to our "fortress", I don't get it. These guys have guns and shit. What are they afraid of?

The Iceman sets Monza on fire...

"... you know what? I'm still the fastest man on track. Penalize me if you will, I'll still be coming through."
the inimitable Steve Slater attempting to voice The Iceman's thoughts...
... and this is just Qualifying!

The Race.
Well, if McLaren didn't look so damn sexy, I'd have emptied out my expletive list and then some. For now, I can only say "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK! DOUBLE FAAAAAARK! FAAAAAAAAARK TIMES THREE!"
Keep pushing, Kimi. You're unstoppable. Put the fear of ice in Senor Fernando.

meet Infernus

Meet Infernus - hound from hell. My new pet.
This canine crackpot's family tree can be traced back to Cerebrus.
He tried to get frisky with Hades' bitch, so Hades skinned him alive and sent him to me for the rest of eternity.
Be afraid. VERY afraid.

"Say hello to my little friend"

Meet the Red September. My new weapon of mass castration. Henceforth, anybody who has a problem with me - especially in office - will be meeting Red here. This nickel plated beauty is the result of decades of research. Honed to perfection, it can penetrate the thickest of skins in a single prick like a white hot knife thru butter. Now, I intend to make it infinitely more lethal by dipping it in various chemicals of dubious reputation.
Ah! This is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!